Yuck

I think it is fairly well known that I had some serious issues with depression in 2008 into 2009. Things really got started around Thanksgiving 2007 but had been building for some time. I really think that a lot had to do with my plantar fasciitis and inability to keep running. For years running was how I controlled my weight and also my mental well being. After six months of therapy in 2008 and about a year on anti-depressants, only in the past few months have I really been feeling back to "myself". It kills me to think that I spent six months in therapy asking the same questions:

"Why don't I feel like me?"

"When will I feel normal again?"

"What do I need to do?"

"Is this my new normal...or will it pass at some point?"

Unfortunately, I never really got the answers. Fortunately, I have learned with time that I can feel more like me again. Unfortunately, I don't really recognize myself physically any more after almost three years of no consistent exercise and the addition of about 30lbs. I keep trying to work on it but have issues with consistency. In an attempt to "get it out", here is what I ate today:

Breakfast (at the airport) - McDonald's

bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and hash brown - I did not drink the gross coffee

diet coke on plane

Lunch

BBQ pulled pork with sauce at Park West

toast with butter

three bites cole slaw

about 1/2 cup baked beans

Dinner:

Italian beef over a red potato

lettuce and tomato with poppy seed dressing

1/2 glass red wine

about 4 see's chocolates (thanks Lizzie)

I did walk 2.7 miles with my Dad but it does not make up for the crap I ate. Tomorrow, without travel will be better. My goal is to drink more water, eat more fruit and veggies and work out (walk the circle twice - am and pm).

Charleston - Easter 2010

I arrived today after a little delay in O'Hare when they completely offloaded the plane while fixing the hydraulics. There were a few tense moments but all was well. Dad picked me up and we headed off for some fair BBQ at a place in Park West.

The good news is that the weather could not be nicer. Today the high was 77 and it should continue on that vein for the next few days. All I can wonder is why I don't live here as well. It is easy to forget the 120 degree summer days and 50 degree and rainy winters. Dad and I took an (almost) three mile walk and we had a fairly healthy dinner - followed by chocolates sent by Lizzie. Yum.

Whelp, I resurrected this blog because I felt the need to start writing again as a way to get some "stuff out". I don't really expect people to read it but want a place to blog my vacations and also move some stuff out of my head and onto a page in an attempt to reclaim my brain. It was a rough week, hormones are a bitch. I should have known it was going to be rough when last week I was craving Salt and Vinegar Potato chips. I don't even LIKE Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips.