I had my "midwest baby shower" last weekend. It was a wonderful event that was well attended by family and friends. As I have said before, I continue to be amazed by the generosity of the people in my life. There was some drama on who to invite. On one hand, I wanted everyone to feel included and be invited, on the other other hand, I did not want people to feel I was trolling for presents (especially since I was married about six months ago and most people have ALREADY been very generous to me this year.) Adding to this, at almost 40, everyone in my life has been to NUMEROUS baby showers and I think most are "done" with them. After the first 20, they are not as fun anymore.
There ended up being about seven people who were "on the bubble". They are all people who I have been close to in the past but am not currently close to and/or have not physically seen recently. After asking several friends in the "friend groups" with these friends, only one of the seven ended up being invited (someone that I ended up seeing for coffee and explained the situation to.) In the course of my asking for advice, I received an two different emails that made me VERY gunshy about inviting anyone that was not currently a good friend/someone that I had not recently seen or contacted. Etiquette says that if you are invited, you should sent a present. Again, I did not want people to feel obligated to attend, or give a present. Given this, I decided to go "small".
Of course, pictures are now on Facebook and one of the friends who was not invited has already made a comment that makes me feel bad they they were not invited. I am sure I am the topic of some emails right now. ugh
Did I make the right decision? Should I have worked to keep this event off Facebook?
I am going to write a separate post on the actual baby shower that is not angst filled....
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Friday, November 18, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
I have been MIA lately. Things have been a little rough and I tend to only post happier things. Given that my blog readership is about 3, I think I need to use it more as intended, as a journal.
Anyway, I got home from Michigan last night to an email that really upset me. A facebook "friend" had taken a photo from a friend's blog and posted it on her wall with a nasty comment. Honestly, I could not believe it. First, this person has no room to throw stones in her glass house. Second, I just don't understand why you would even put that out there. Yes, I have my bitchy moments, and will own them, but really try not to every say something hurtful to others in a public forum. I actually even try not to put things in email or print so that they could not be forwarded on/misinterpreted by others.
Again, I am NOT perfect and have certainly said hurtful things to others (behind their back and unintentionally to their faces). I will say though, I have made a REAL effort in the past few years to keep my thoughts positive and give people the benefit of the doubt. My motto lately has been "always choose love". I don't care what others do or say, I can only control myself and to some extent my impact on others.
This is just bring up an ongoing issue with Facebook that I have been thinking about more and more. In the past year, I have hidden people who have hurt my feelings by posting about parties and events that pretty much my entire social scene (except me) were invited to attend. I have hidden people who seem to have nothing good to say about anything. I used to get drunk and go through my friends and delete a bunch of people I decided I did not care about and did not want poking around my business. The problem is that not I don't get drunk anymore.
So here is where I stand now. Do I:
1. Close down and delete my facebook account.
The pros to this are: more time, less drama in my life, no more worries about privacy issues.
Cons: I do like it as a way to keep up with family and friends who I don't see much. It is a good way to contact people I would otherwise be unable to contact.
2. Spend the time and make some real "lists" not that facebook has changed format. I could then do a better job of managing who sees what and what I see of others.
pros: better management - not throwing out the baby with the bathwater
cons: more time needed, not a perfect situation
Hmmmm - will ponder this today and make a decision soon. I think I will start with lists and see if it makes me happier with facebook overall.
I am still bothered though the whole situation.
Anyway, I got home from Michigan last night to an email that really upset me. A facebook "friend" had taken a photo from a friend's blog and posted it on her wall with a nasty comment. Honestly, I could not believe it. First, this person has no room to throw stones in her glass house. Second, I just don't understand why you would even put that out there. Yes, I have my bitchy moments, and will own them, but really try not to every say something hurtful to others in a public forum. I actually even try not to put things in email or print so that they could not be forwarded on/misinterpreted by others.
Again, I am NOT perfect and have certainly said hurtful things to others (behind their back and unintentionally to their faces). I will say though, I have made a REAL effort in the past few years to keep my thoughts positive and give people the benefit of the doubt. My motto lately has been "always choose love". I don't care what others do or say, I can only control myself and to some extent my impact on others.
This is just bring up an ongoing issue with Facebook that I have been thinking about more and more. In the past year, I have hidden people who have hurt my feelings by posting about parties and events that pretty much my entire social scene (except me) were invited to attend. I have hidden people who seem to have nothing good to say about anything. I used to get drunk and go through my friends and delete a bunch of people I decided I did not care about and did not want poking around my business. The problem is that not I don't get drunk anymore.
So here is where I stand now. Do I:
1. Close down and delete my facebook account.
The pros to this are: more time, less drama in my life, no more worries about privacy issues.
Cons: I do like it as a way to keep up with family and friends who I don't see much. It is a good way to contact people I would otherwise be unable to contact.
2. Spend the time and make some real "lists" not that facebook has changed format. I could then do a better job of managing who sees what and what I see of others.
pros: better management - not throwing out the baby with the bathwater
cons: more time needed, not a perfect situation
Hmmmm - will ponder this today and make a decision soon. I think I will start with lists and see if it makes me happier with facebook overall.
I am still bothered though the whole situation.
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