Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I think it is fairly well known that I had some serious issues with depression in 2008 into 2009. Things really got started around Thanksgiving 2007 but had been building for some time. I really think that a lot had to do with my plantar fasciitis and inability to keep running. For years running was how I controlled my weight and also my mental well being. After six months of therapy in 2008 and about a year on anti-depressants, only in the past few months have I really been feeling back to "myself". It kills me to think that I spent six months in therapy asking the same questions:
"Why don't I feel like me?"
"When will I feel normal again?"
"What do I need to do?"
"Is this my new normal...or will it pass at some point?"

Unfortunately, I never really got the answers. Fortunately, I have learned with time that I can feel more like me again. Unfortunately, I don't really recognize myself physically any more after almost three years of no consistent exercise and the addition of about 30lbs. I keep trying to work on it but have issues with consistency. In an attempt to "get it out", here is what I ate today:

Breakfast (at the airport) - McDonald's
bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and hash brown - I did not drink the gross coffee
diet coke on plane

BBQ pulled pork with sauce at Park West
toast with butter
three bites cole slaw
about 1/2 cup baked beans

Italian beef over a red potato
lettuce and tomato with poppy seed dressing
1/2 glass red wine
about 4 see's chocolates (thanks Lizzie)

I did walk 2.7 miles with my Dad but it does not make up for the crap I ate. Tomorrow, without travel will be better. My goal is to drink more water, eat more fruit and veggies and work out (walk the circle twice - am and pm).

No comments: