PT, Chiropractor and 15k

At some point in the last month, I seemed to have clicked in on diet and exercise.  I am down 5lbs from the last time I looked and am making better choices overall.  Since he Henry was born, my left hip has been wonky, it hurts, gets "stuck" and generally makes me miserable.  Six months ago, I asked my OB for a PT referral - and let it sit.

Allan finally got really sick of watching me limp around and told me if I did not make a PT appointment, he would make one for me.  My first appointment was tonight.  The PT thinks I need a hip x-ray and that something is wrong in there (either arthritis or a piece of cartilage).  Ugh.  She also mentioned a cortisone shot - is she crazy?  Has she been watching the news?  ACK!

In the meantime, I started seeing a chiropractor in my office building.  I've always been a little leery of chiropractors, but she is very gentle (no "cracking adjustments").  It seems to be a combination of PT and massage (painful massage).  The best part is the physotape she puts on me.  It is like a new adventure every week!  The first one was a patch  on my left hip, Allan told me it looked like it was covering my plug for recharging.   If only it was so easy!

Finally, I signed up for a 15k in the middle of this.  I ran 5 miles on Sunday and Monday, 3 last night.

So do I keep running or stop until I get the x-ray to figure out my hip?  I don't know why I ask, I am going to keep running till a Dr. gives me a real reason not to.....

I am spinning tomorrow - come hell or high water.

I have also realized I need to stay off the scale and do what I know is right.  When I saw the "good" number on the scale, I promptly had two food filled days.  No more scale, back to eating when I am hungry and making good choices.

Henry - 10 Months

Things keep rolling along here.  Henry and I had our 9 month appointment.  He was 90th percentile for head circumference, 95% for weight (25lbs) and 99% for height.  He is wearing 18-24 month clothes.  He can fit into 12 month clothes but they are all to short!  I am doubtful we will make it much past a year in the rear facing carseat.

Henry is crawling!  He is better on the carpet, but is getting faster and more mobile daily.  He really prefers to stand.  I find him up on his knees a lot now.  We are crashing a lot more, which leads to lots of bumps and bruises.

Teeth!  We are up to SEVEN.  Three on top, four on bottom.  He gets a little fussy on days he is teething, but nothing that bad.  He still constantly has his hands in his mouth, so I am sure more are coming.

Sleep: Henry continues to go down at about 6:30pm and sleep till about 7:30am.  He is still getting up in the middle of the night about once a week to eat.  The dog and Allan wake me up more than Henry does.

Tricks:  WAVING!  Henry just started to wave yesterday.  So cute, makes me teary.  He loves songs, bouncing, being thrown around, peek a boo.  He LOVES the dog and says "hi" to him in the morning. He is ALWAYS looking for the dog (and laughing).  Henry LOVES the swings at the park and stroller rides. If he is fussy, we head out - I am shuddering at the thought of a cold winter.

Henry now HATES the exersaucer (which he used to love).  He also hates his highchair - but calms down once I put out some puffs or goldfish.  He is eating everything.  Still prefers most things pureed.

Our trip for the month was to NOVA/DC to see my sister and catch up with friends.  Henry is getting harder to deal with on the plane.  On this flight, he squirmed nonstop, barfed on me, fussed, and then fell asleep as we were landing (literally).  To say I was thrilled to be off the plane is an understatement.  Allan, Henry and I do NOT fit in two airplane seats comfortably.

9 months! Henry

Sleeping:
Henry is sleeping about 12 hours a night.  We recently moved his bedtime up to 6:30pm since he seemed tired.  He goes down easily and sleeps anywhere from 12-13 hours.   We are bouncing between one and two naps a day.  Last night he went down at 7ish and slept till 8:30am.  Allan said he was up when he left at 7:00am but he did not start crying till 8:30 so I left him alone.    He gets up to eat in the middle of the night one or two times a night.  No big deal.  He either takes one or two naps a day to equal  2-3 hours.

Eating:
We are moving towards solids.  Henry loves baby yogurt, puffs, cheese, chicken, fruit, veggies, pancakes, waffles, etc.  No problems.  I am trying to get him to use the sippy cup for water at meals, but he normally just chews on it.  Today he grabbed the spoon and kept using it as a chew toy.   Four teeth!

Talking:
Lots of reduplicated babbling with /t/, /s/, /d/, /b/, and /g/.  He will repeat sounds.  He loves finger play soungs, will lift his hands up for me to pick him up.  Loves peek a boo!  Of course, as long as he is social, I don't really care about anything else:)

Play/Movement:
Henry wants to stand ALL THE TIME, but needs help.  He even goes stiff as a board when I try to put him down.  He wants to be held and bounced all the time. No crawling yet but he is slithering, rolling and army crawling everywhere.  We have baby gates up.  He loves the jumparoo and the exersaucer.

I realized that I missed blogging and was not sure how to start again....so I just decided to do it!

Workouts: 5/28-6/3/2012

Workouts: I had a great week working out. We were up in Michigan for the Memorial Day holiday and got back to town late Monday night.

Sunday: Allan and I hiked around Rush lake (2ish hours). Auntie N was nice enough to watch Henry (apparently he slept almost the entire time we were out. I was able to see where Allan's Dad proposed to his Mom. It is MUCH easier to hike without an infant *duh*. No HRM or numbers

Monday: River trail hike (about an hour). No HRM or numbers. 

Tuesday: no workout - DOR

Wednesday: Group Groove - kicked my butt. We had a sub and he did some old stuff. 55 min 428 calories

Thursday: Group Grove was replaced with a crappy "hip hop" class 48 minutes, 298 calories. I walked on the track afterwards with a friend for 40 minutes but did not turn on my HRM

Friday: Spinning - old stuff which kicked my butt. I also got there 10 minutes early to get a full hour in on the bike. What a difference! 104 minutes, 522 calories

Saturday: Running for 30 minutes, then run/walk for 20 minutes. Trying to finish zone 2 on my HRM program. I am waaayy over for zones 1 and 3 already. 52 minutes, 439 calories

Sunday: Running: 27 minutes, 2.3 miles, 222 calories (I put the foot pod back on my shoe!. I also walked to and from the park to run as well as to brunch (another 1.8 miles). I'm proud of this run. I woke up feeling a little creaky but wanted to finish my FT60 HRM program and I needed more minutes in zone 2. Did it! My numbers for the week: Time: 4 hrs, 11 minutes (this does not include the hiking in Michigan or my 40 minutes on the track on Thurs.) Calories: 1913

Memorial Day in Michigan, 2012

We headed up to the UP for Memorial Day again this year. The weather was beautiful and we made it up and back with minimal traffic and stopping both way. Henry was a champ.

Allan and River took care of unloading critical supplies....

We worked on getting Henry used to the hiking backpack with some success....he still likes the bjorn better, but there is only so long you can walk with a 20lb baby on your chest.

This cool moth was laying eggs on the screen door while we were there. Unlike last year, the bugs were not all that bad.

Still working on getting a good picture of Henry and I.

Henry - 5 1/2 months

I can't believe Henry is 5 1/2 months! He is super social and a very happy baby. I feel like I am being suckered into a second baby, because I could TOTALLY handle two kids like him!:)

I love that I have this happy human. Of course my goal is to keep him happy and on a good schedule! He is currently sleeping about 11 hours a night and taking three naps. Usually two of the naps are short (30-45 minutes) and the third is longer 1-2 hours.

His new trick of the week is grabbing his feet and sucking on his toes (if his socks are off). He is rolling from side to side, but not over yet. I'm also seeing lots of fine motor development. He is holding toys and transferring them from hand to hand. He is sitting, but only with support. The jumparoo is his FAVORITE thing.

We are working on introducing solids, but it is going slowly. We have tried rice cereal, carrots and peas. He will eat a bite or two and then start spitting food out. His favorite thing is to suck on apple slices. I figure it will come.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

Scottsdale, March 23-26

Grand Canyon - March 21, 2012

Allan and I arrived at Grand Canyon at about 8:00pm. The sun was down so we ate some of our snacks and went to bed. I had booked us in the Yavapai Lodge which was 1/2 mile from the rim of the canyon. It was worth it to be in the park and within walking distance to the rim, but the room was very bare bones and not the cleanest. Pretty much what I expected after reading reviews on line.

We slept well and headed out fairly early to walk the "trail of time" and have breakfast/lunch in the resturant. We had a slight marital meltdown on the way to the rim but managed to get back on track and in there in one piece (and still married). As much as I have travelled, I have never been to the Grand Canyon. It was beautiful. Honestly, you need to see it to believe it.

We walked along the rim with the stroller to the Bright Angel Lodge where we had breakfast. We both ate well since we were getting ready for our hike. I was sad that we could not stay at Bright Angel or El Tovar - but was happy to be in the Grand Canyon with my boys!:) After lunch we headed back to the room and pack up before our check out time. We (I) had decided to hike the South Kaibab Trail because someone had told me it was prettier than the Bright Angel Trail. We had also seen the Bright Angel trailhead, and it was pretty much solid ice. I hoped that the Kaibab trail was less icy.

Yes, the first part of the trail was solid ice.....it was slow going (it was much icier than this picture shows). I had Henry in the bjorn for the trip down so I was super slow and careful on the ice. I wish we had brought our yak-trax! After we got out of the icy parts, it was MUDDY! The good news was that there were no mules and there was not dust.

We hiked down to ooh-aah point where we had lunch and took a break. At that point, Allan took over Henry in the bjorn and we started hiking out of the canyon!

The hike out was just as beautiful. It was shocking how fast the mud was drying. It was actually easier going back up since the mud was almost gone and the ice was melting. (I was also 16lbs lighter). At the top of the trail and on our way out of the park, I was so sad. I wanted to stay and hike more. Allan and I both agreed that we want to go back again and spend more time in the park.

Sedona - March 20, 2012

We woke up on Tuesday morning to SUN! No more snow with fast melting snow as well. That was the good news...the bad news was that my Pink Jeep Tour for 10:00 was cancelled because it was going to be too icy/muddy. I had booked myself on the 10:00am tour and Allan on the noon tour. Luckily, I was able to rebook on the 2:00pm tour. Multiple people had told me that Pink Jeep Tours are a Sedona "must".

We headed back to Red Rock State Park for another hike since we had the pass from the night before. After consulting with the friendly rangers, we decided to hike the Eagle Nest trail. This trail was 1.9 miles and we figured we could easily hike it in 2 hours (which would then give us time to get back into town for Allan's tour).

The hike was beautiful. Henry seemed to like being in the Bjorn again, but fussed after an hour till we stopped and fed him a bottle. He fussed some more afterwards but we kept walking. He finally passed out and we realized back at the center, he had a major poop. I felt bad that we had not checked (we did when he ate).

We headed back into town so Allan could take is Pink Jeep Tour (Broken Arrow). I wandered around town for an hour and then found a nice sunny place to sit and enjoy a coffee for an hour. Sedona is beautiful, but the town is pretty much your standard tourist trap town with tee shirt shops, vortex shops, and LOTS of stairs (not easy to navigate around with a stroller).

Finally it was MY turn for the Pink Jeep Tour. It was fabulous and I would highly recommend it! I was placed with a really fun family that was celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary. I had already met some of the women in the bathroom, while I was changing Henry. Wear sunblock and your seatbelt though.....


I was hungry after the tour but Allan had had some bad food experiences while he was walking around town with Henry so we set off for the Grand Canyon! There was a Dairy Queen stop along the way outside of Sedona......

Sedona, March 19, 2012 (Part II)

We headed back to Sedona after our fabulous lunch at 15.Quince. The weather was clearing as he got back to Sedona and we decided to head to Red Rock State Park. We had tried to go on Sunday, but it was closed (I think for weather and time). We arrived at 4:00pm and decided to go in even though it closed at 5:00pm. The nice ranger gave us a pass for Tuesday since it was so close to the end of the day.
We set off on the House of Apache Fire hike since we had less than an hour.

Allan was in charge of the map and Henry.

Henry did great on his first hike.

We headed back to the hotel after the hike and the baby and I slept from 6pm till 7am. I ate a handfull of nuts about 9pm but that was it. Allan kept telling me that I would be up in the middle of the night - HA!

Sedona/Jerome, March 19, 2012 (part I)

We woke up Monday morning and hit the hotel breakfast at 7:00am (when it opened) with all of the other parents who were desparate to get out of their hotel rooms at about 6:45am..... Sedona was still expected to receive snow all day so we decided to drive down to lower elevations and see some sights.

First was Montezuma's Castle. This is a small national park built around an amazing 20 room cliff dwelling that is about 1,000 years old. It was amazing how much better the weather was at a lower elevation and we loved being able to get out and walk around. Henry loved the Bjorn.

We then decided to drive to Jerome to walk around and eat a late lunch. Jerome was an old mining town built up on the mountainside (literally). It is now and artist/tourist town and we had fun walking around. We had lunch at 15.Quince. It was the best meal I have had this year. I had the “Las Comadres” Chile Relleno". I could rave for hours about how good this was with both red and green chile. yum, yum, yum.

Allan and I were fading out after lunch so we bailed on the state park and headed back to Sedona.

Sedona, March 18, 2012

Allan and I have been waiting (impatiently) for spring break. Typically, March in Chicago is very unpredictable, with one last snowstorm. This year, we left beautiful early spring weather in the 80's for Sedona. The plan was to hike and see the sights. Once again, Henry was a travel champ on the plane and in the car. We arrived Saturday night.....at the leading edge of a HUGE snowstorm!

Sunday, we got up and spent a little time driving around trying to see the sights. We drove up to the airport lookout and froze trying to get a picture. In this photo, the baby was in a car seat sleeping, soon to start screaming. We tried to drive around town but the roads were not good. We ended up going to a grocery story for sandwich fixings and snacks and headed back to the room.

We ventured out later that day for dinner and drove by the Chapel of the Holy Cross. It was beautiful in the snow....


After our brief detour, we had dinner at Oak Creek Brewery. The food was VERY average. If you are in Sedona, I would say to skip it..... We headed back to the hotel and rented Horrible Bosses. I was not thrilled to see the movie, but it was very funny.

Man Down!

I had a great time drinking tasty beverages out this week at Flight 1551 on Wells with these lovely ladies....


Unfortunately, after three glasses of wine, I stepped off a curb onto a slight uneven piece of pavement and went down with a twisted ankle. Bummer:( I had had a good run/walk on Wednesday with the jogging stroller (jogging stroller + baby + dog + high winds = MAJOR WORKOUT) and was looking forward to more Thursday but decided to be smart (hard for me). I had really been looking forward to going back to the gym on Thursday night (my membership came off of hold March 1) for Group Groove. BOO!

Onwards and upwards!

South Carolina, February 2012

This blog started as a travel blog. I used to write "daily email updates" when I traveled (this was before blogs) and people loved them. I always said, it is not about what happened, it is about the story you tell. It was a fun thing to find an internet cafe at the end of the day and type up what happened while drinking a tasty beverage....This blog started as a way to keep all of my travel memories in one place. Never thought I would be posting about marriage and motherhood! Times change.

I headed to Mt. Pleasant to hang with the parents this past week. I was originally invited to Soliman Bay in Mexico but decided that I was not up for taking my first trip with Henry (solo) out of the country. I also did not have enough frequent fliyer miles to get me down there ( I did not book soon enough). Luckily, I found a $200 round trip ticket on Southwest (LOVE) and $9 a day parking at MIdway. How could I turn it down? Especially since I am still on *Maternity Leave*? iroll - sometimes I wish I worked for the school district still so I could have had an actual maternity leave. oh well!

The trip was a total success! Henry was a champ. I allowed plenty of time and made sure he was hungry so he was ready to eat through take off and landing. On the way down he slept through takeoff and landing and was awake and happy the entire flight. He started fussing as soon as we turned into my parents driveway.

Coming home, he ate through takeoff and landing and napped on and off through the flight. Getting up at 4:00am was brutal (but worth it for the cheap flight.) I was also lucky that people were more than happy to help me with my luggage on the plane and Southwest made my life easy with curbside checkin. The flights were not totally full so I had an extra seat next to me both ways. It was really pretty easy! Let's hope Henry was not luring me in for the kill. Phoenix next month is looming....


I did not do much other than (try to) get a lot of sleep, do "two a day" run/walks around the 2.4 mile loop my parents live on, and hang out. My Mom and I saw The Artist and The Decendants. My Dad and I went downtown one day to drop off quilts at the quilt show and eat BBQ (yum). I also visited Belk for more "free clothes". Belk in SC is a season ahead of Chicago so I love to go and shop the clearance racks. Five tops for $50 and a pair of Born boots for $35. Woot! I need some help to hide the muffin top:(

My Mom hosted a "sip n see" for Henry to meet some of the ladies my Mom hangs out with and who have known me for years. It was great success and Henry was a champ being held by lots of strangers. He totally conked out by the end of the party though...


My parents were amazing and I did not want to come home. It was SO nice to have 24/7 help with Henry so I could go for a run, take a shower, try to sleep another hour at 5:00am (my mom is an early riser). My goal is to keep going to bed early so the midnight feedings don't kill me. Henry is sleeping for up to 7 hours at a stretch, but he goes down at 7:00pm so he is up at 3:00am! boooooo If only I could keep him up and start the 7 hours at 10!:)

Passport

Henry and I were invited to Mexico later this month back in January. After much soul searching, I decided not to go and am headed to South Carolina instead to see my parents and get some sun. I found a GREAT flight on Southwest so it was a no brainer that Henry and I head there.

Just the thought of going to Mexico had me thinking and we applied for a passport for Henry. At that point, Henry was 3 weeks old. I followed the instructions on the Department of State website and took the following photo:

It was rejected:(. They did not like the folds in the fabric (although the website said you could put them in a car seat to take the picture). Putting him on the floor and trying to have him "look at the camera with his eyes open" was NOT happening. Not enough head control.

I have since been trying to take a better photo and will head to CVS tomorrow in an attempt to get an acceptable photo. I want to use this one....

but am afraid they will not like the face (although I think it is adorable). I'm also worried about the shadow.

I also have this one:

but I am still worried about the shadow. How do I not have a shadow, looking down on him using a flash?

grrrrr


PS - I can't believe that I never posted this! They accepted my photo (the last one pictured) and Henry is ready to go! I guess it is a good think the picture was rejected, I realized that his middle name was misspelled on their records so I was able to correct that before the passport was printed.

Now we are ready to head to Prague this summer! (I wish!)

Workouts/Eating 2/6-2/12

Last Saturday (2/4) Allan and I were talking. We both felt like we needed to get "back on track" with our eating and working out. I could tell that I was slowly gaining some weight, and was really focused on my squishy belly/muffin top. While I don't feel like I am ready for Weight Watchers or anything formal, it was time to be a little more focused.

Weekly goals (starting Monday).
1. Write down everything you eat
2. Work out at least 3 times

My unofficial additional goals were to eat *real food* and only eat when hungry.

Workouts:
Tuesday 2/7 - ran/walked 2.8 miles
Wednesday 2/8 - ran/walked 2.7 miles
Saturday 2/11 - pilates ( I held my first *real* plank post baby and realized how weak I am).
Sunday 2/12 - crossfit interval class - 35 minutes to complete jello body!

It has been good to write everything down, which I did without cheating. I got on the scale Tuesday and saw that I had been gaining (I had not been on the scale in a month) so was glad that I was stopping the slide. Every morning I woke up hungry. I had a little meltdown Thursday when I saw that I had only lost .4 lbs in 2 days (I know, total eye roll). In response, I over ate and made poor choices. I am glad that I got back on track quickly.

baby steps.....

8 Weeks

Henry turned 8 weeks old on Wednesday. He is growing like a weed and eats like a beast. I am seeing more smiles and love it when he "holds on" while I am carrying him. More and more of a personality is coming out, I live for his smiles - which are not as frequent as I would like.

Allan and I have been working on a consistent bedtime and bedtime routine. At this point, we are trying to start the routine between 7 and 8 at night and it consists of: bath, lotion rubdown/massage, food. He usually crashes pretty hard and sleeps for about 5-6 hours. I am trying to decide if I want to start waking him up at 11 or 12 for a *snack* in an attempt to get a little more sustained sleep but have not tried it yet. It is clear that the more he sleeps, the better he sleeps. On Wednesday, he did not sleep well during the day and we had the worst night since he came home, he was up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Thank God I got him back on track and he slept better on Thursday.



Henry continues to eat A LOT. I am taking fenugreek to try to boost my milk production but there is no way I am making enough so we are still also giving him formula. Honestly, I am glad given that he is a slow nurser and I HATE pumping (although I am getting a little more mellow on the pumping). In the last few days, Henry is starting to *urp* up MUCH more than he ever did. I am trying to make sure we are diligent about burping him, which does help. He has started burping like a sailor (LOUD) which makes me laugh.

I can see his vision really improving and he is much more content to lie on his playmat or sit in his bouncy seat and bat at the toys. I am going to try to upload a video...

Friday Workout

I feel like I was in my car for hours today and was not motivated to get out....

6:30-7:00pm
31 minutes
2.3 miles
294 calories

I am noticing my jelly belly/muffin top more and more. I know it is totally normal at this point, but I want it to be gone!:)

Thursday Fun

Today was the day I have been waiting for for weeks....MANI/PEDI! My toes were in sad and sorry shape and needed a little TLC. Amy and I went together and she was nice enough to hold Henry for me while I was getting my nails done. Henry did his best to charm everyone in the salon and I don't think there would have been any shortage of ams willing to cuddle him:)


Amy also came to the rescue tonight and babysat Henry while I went to my first Crossfit class. I bought a Gilt City voucher for five classes. It was fun and exhausting. I am going to be interested to see if I can walk tomorrow. 65minutes, 601 calories burned. It feels good to be moving and working hard again!

Six Weeks

Yesterday, Henry was six weeks! I can't belive how fast the time is going by. We saw the Dr for our one month appointment yesterday. I was supposed to bring him in last week, but pushed it a week since I had my OB visit as well and though I could kill two birds with one stone. Good news on all fronts!

Henry weighs 10lbs 6oz and is in the 50% for weight. His head circumference and length were in the 60% percentile. The Dr. commented on how alert he was and how cute he is. I can't help but agree! I also got a good report from my OB, am cleared to exercise and don't have to go back for six weeks. A mammogram is in my future this year since I am going to be 40.

This week, Henry is even more alert and I can tell his vision is improving. He is starting to be happy in his bouncy chair and on the play mat batting at toys. He can clearly see them:) I am also starting to see smiles, which completely melt my heart....

Sunday Wrap Up

The good news is that I still feel good following my "bottom" on Wednesday morning. I did almost 3 miles outside yesterday and walked 1.4 today. I wanted to run today but the body said "no", yesterday might have been a stretch.. Spotting more today so I will take a day off tomorrow (*ha* taking a day off from walking....).

Our big fun on Saturday was a new TV (now referred to as "Allan's Girlfriend"), a trip to Pita Inn (yum), and watching The Hangover. Yes, it was as funny as people told me it would be.....

Unfortunately, we scraped our party on Friday night because of the snow:(

Today Allan and I remembered why brick and mortar stores are going out of business. We went to Barnes and Noble for some Nook support for me and for Allan to use some gift cards. He found the book he wanted, but it was $20 more than the online B&N price (and they would not match it in store). We then went to Best Buy (more GC's) for a heart rate monitor and again struck out. They were in stock at the last BB we were at, but not this one. grrrr

Horray! I got a massage today! It was fabulous and I can't wait to go back

Yipee! A fabulous looking casserole was just dropped off and is now in the oven.

Hiyooo! Allan took Henry when he woke up early this morning and I slept till 9:30am!

Woop - I bought two new nursing bras that FIT! (AND she told me to drink beer to increase my milk supply:)

I've got lots of good things to look forward to this week!

5 weeks - or when I hit the wall....

I've been wanting to do a post about all the things people (and books) told me that would (or would not happen) and how, for me and this pregnancy, it was just not true. The most recent has been hitting the wall between 4 and 5 weeks. Everyone told me that the first 2-3 weeks would be the hardest. Well, not for me.

I am not sure what happened this week. I know that the weather changed and I have not been able to get out for a walk every day. Allan gets home after dark and the snow and ice have also kept me indoors. My gym membership is on hold till March but I am going to reactivate in February after I see my Dr next week and get an all clear. I did go out an run 2 miles in 10 degree weather on Thursday night - it was the best part of my day. Clearly I NEED the physical exertion to maintain my sanity.

Let's review all the things "people say":
1. Morning sickness will be gone by 12 weeks, 20 at the latest. Um, nope, I continued to be sick my entire pregnancy - even with Zofran helping, I was nauseous for 10 months solid. I threw up my entire labor.

2. You will gain a ton of weight, it will take 9 months to get it off. Again, nope - I topped out at 23lbs and FOUGHT for every one. I was below my pre-pregnancy (PP) weight at 10 days post baby and have since leveled off right around where I was PP. I need to firm up and do want to lose the 10-15lbs that I wanted to lose before I got pregnant (to be fabulous at 40), but that is another story.

3. First time Mom's have slow labor and you will push for 2-3 hours. Try 12 minutes and a resident telling me "not to push" while they tried to get the room set up in time.

4. It will take you a while to bounce back after having the baby. I felt better 2 weeks post baby than I had for pretty much the entire pregnancy. So much for the idea of "Irish twins". Mentally, I can't handle the thought of getting pregnant again. I don't want to wait very long since 40 is looming in June. Even hitting the wall this week, it is better than being pregnant.

5. Babies poop up to 6 times a day. Only ONE day so far have we had more than one poop in a day. Usually it is more like every 24-36 hours (which is supposed to be fine). Thank you lactation consultant for completely stressing me out over this one.

I am listing out the above only because I need to keep reminding myself to not believe any of the the things that *they say*. It just gets my hopes up for the crash. The two that are looming right now are:

1. Babies *peak* in fussiness at 6 weeks. Henry is definitely getting more fussy and I was telling myself that I could deal with it since the *peak* is coming. Then I thought, why should ANYTHING follow conventional wisdom.....fingers crossed that this one does.

2. Every pregnancy is different. See above #4 and the "Irish Twins - I am old" debate. I don't want to wait too long to try again and am actually ready to get the "all clear" from the Dr. next week (again, I feel better now than for most of my pregnancy). I am just terrified that I won't get pregnant again and also terrified of what could happen if I do? What if the next pregnancy is WORSE! gah!

Sleep deprivation is an ugly thing. I am getting enough sleep that I feel like I should be ok, but it really smacked me down this week. I fell down the stairs (more than once), get really emotional (my anxiety over things like dishes in the sink is brutal), have parked the car and walked away with it running, and I drop EVERYTHING (except the baby, Thank God). I was supposed to go for a late lunch today with a friend but am going to cancel. I don't have the motor skills to drive in the snow right now. I noticed not being able to focus well yesterday while driving in good conditions. I need to not take chances.
Even River is exhausted....


Wednesday I woke up with what I now think was a migraine (I got sick, light hurt my eyes, I literally could not get out of bed and had to let Henry cry for 30 minutes while I waited for Advil + Tylenol to kick in). It was scary. I could have called a neighbor, but I was literally not functioning well enough to think! Also this week, I felt like I might be starting with Postpartum Depression. I am TERRIFIED of this given my family history of PPD and SAD and my own history of depression (and self diagnosed anxiety issues). Thank God I woke up on Thursday feeling better. Today I also feel OK, even with MORE wake up calls last night. One more reason I NEED to get to the gym.

Here is the good news:
1. I still think Henry is the cutest thing around, he is healthy and growing. I think I started seeing a smile this week (it was intentional and repeated 2-3 times). I am hoping to see it more, even though it makes me cry. He bats at his toys and is awake and alert more of the day.

2. I am feeling good physically. I fit into my clothes (even with muffin top). With my sister in town over the weekend, I had my hair cut and reblonded. It made a huge difference in how I feel about myself.

3. I have amazing friends. PEO did a food drive on Sunday which literally SAVED me. Someone came over yesterday with two bags of food from Whole Foods and a baby present. More food is coming on Sunday. I love to cook, but this week pulled the rug out from under me and having meals in the fridge and freezer saved me.

4. I have amazing family who will drop everything and fly out if I say I need them.

5. Allan is an amazing man who I love and trust my my whole heart. I love how we are still trying to take care of each other.

6. Spring break trip to Phoenix/Sedona is booked (using points)! Just working on details now.

7. Hospital bills started coming (yikes - 4 days in NICU!). I am thankful that we can pay them (even though I will still stress about money).

8. I found a babysitter who will work for this spring till Allan is off for the summer. I am ready to start going back to work part time in Feb. Things are BUSY at the office:)

This week I want to focus on working Henry's sleeping schedule (within reason), taking more pictures, and writing down thoughts at least every other day.

My current obsession is trying to decide if I should go to Mexico (with Henry) in late Feb. I can mostly use miles to fly and have a free place to stay. Henry's passport has been applied for, the pediatrician gave the all clear. Why am I hesitating?